B Searching for hope in the Dark.

B Searching for hope in the Dark.

I cast and call the dark goddess - I call Hecate as she will show me the way
with her fingers pointing three ways at once.
I crawl through coal black, flame shimmering wet pulsating tunnels. They
smear me with their juice. I climb out into a big chamber and crawl down to
the pool in the middle. I immerse myself in its warmth, rolling my body
over and over again in the cool water. .
Great hands take me up, lift me bodily from the water and carry me through
the chamber, bear me through tunnels into a warm room with a big fire. A
shadow sits in the corner, softly rocking. At her feet, another shape,
moves slowly, rises up and walks towards me as I sit warming myself by the
fire.
The wolf, for it is she, lies down beside me. She rests her old velvety bony
head on my thigh. She sighs. I sigh.
I watch the fire. Something dances in the fire. All my triumphs, successes
and skills dance in the fire. I see myself, golden and shining, dancing and
dancing. I dance the flames with my hands. She who is me, comes into my
hands, I hold her heat that is my enchanter passion as a leader.

I bring her to my breast. Her heat warms my skin. I breathe; she melts
into me and becomes an unquenchable dancing fire in my heart.
This is what I need, what will heel me. To know my shining self is within
me. I can dance the flame of a candle to be reminded.
The wolf returns to the figure in the corner. I get up and kneel before
both, one hand on wolf, the other on my heart, my head bent in homage and
thanks.
I commit to lighting candles and playing with their flame to remind me that
my shining self is in my heart.
I pull three cards from the Mother peace deck.
What do I leave behind?
Shaman of cups: Fire/water - Putting on a mask to do work in the world.
Competence.
What do I have already?
Four of swords: Cleans other people's energy out of yourself by meditating
on pulling the cords that connect you to people.
WHAT do I have for the future?
Initially I pulled the charge of the goddess. I take this to mean doing more
magical practice.
14. Temperance. When death is no longer feared, body and soul' can
integrate with one another, creating balance and a sense of self within the
midst of moving energy. In this card, water and fire unite in ecstasy,
consciousness dances in celebration of itself.
Hmm.